


Tricks and Treats

by youcouldmakealife



Series: Follow the North Star [30]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 21:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11859951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcouldmakealife/pseuds/youcouldmakealife
Summary: “So, update since last meeting,” Liam says. “I’m pretty sure we can confirm Roman dumped Connie.”“No shit,” Victor says.“Definite no shit,” Val chimes in.





	Tricks and Treats

Liam gets a text from Val probably minutes after he got home from the North Star Negotiators meeting, pretty much confirming that the ‘talk’ Roman had mentioned was a break up one, or at least one that had Connie upset. Liam considers texting Roman about it, seeing if he wants some company and — well, Liam’s out of cookies, but he can pick up booze — but that’d basically out the fact that they all know what’s happening as it’s happening, and he has a feeling Roman wouldn’t particularly like that.

Instead he makes dinner, because Mike’s not home yet, and he’d probably like something hot when he gets back, because Lori’s cooking is worse than Liam’s, if that’s even possible.

“Heating up leftovers of food _I_ made doesn’t count as making dinner,” Mike says over chili.

“Does so,” Liam says. “I did it on the stove instead of in the microwave and I made bread and everything. Plus, you wouldn’t eat anything I made.”

Mike tilts his head, like ‘true’, and doesn’t even argue that cutting up a loaf of bread doesn’t count as making dinner either, so Liam’s counting it.

The room’s predictably awkward as hell the next day. Connie looks miserable, Vic looks pissed, and Roman looks in basically every single direction that doesn’t involve meeting anyone’s eyes. Liam has no idea how so many of the dudes on their team are completely oblivious to it. Like, it’s got to take _work_. And also assuming straightness for everyone, but they can’t have missed Connie’s crush on Roman, even if they maybe missed the result of that. 

Liam has zero faith it’s going to get better in the near future, because he’s been where Connie was, he knows _exactly_ how much that hurts, and it doesn’t go away any time soon, especially when you’re forced into close quarters. Unlike Liam, Connie doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’ll be pestering his way right back into Roman’s arms — Mike’s word for it, not Liam’s, but Liam will own it, no shame — so instead it’s just going to be a whole lot of tragic for the next little while. Liam doesn’t like tragic. He’s got enough, thanks.

Mike’s been experimenting in the kitchen, turning out batch after batch of delicious things, and the morning they head out for what’s probably going to be an excruciating roadie Liam makes some room in his bag to pack some. If he’s got to bribe his fellow Negotiators into negotiating with him, he’s prepared.

“You’re not going to eat all that, are you?” Mike asks, and rolls his eyes when Liam says it’s being used for bribes, but doesn’t actually argue. Mike doesn’t like the drive to Duluth, it’s started to tip past the amount of time behind the wheel he’s comfortable with, not to mention the fact he’s completely uncomfortable with night driving, and while Liam is pretty sure Lori’s aware of that, Mike doesn’t want to tell her, so mostly they’ve been going when Liam has time to drive them. 

Mike doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, because obviously that would be counter to the whole Mike thing he’s got going on, so he eats maybe one of every batch, mostly to test it, and leaves the rest for everyone else. With no trip to Duluth upcoming, that means it’s going to the neighbour’s kids, most likely, if Mike doesn’t just throw them in the freezer to avoid having to interact with a human. Liam feels zero guilt confiscating them for bribery purposes.

“Bribery,” Mike repeats sceptically.

“Your tarts are going to help me with my plans for world domination,” Liam says. 

“God help the world,” Mike says, and then, frowning after Liam kisses him goodbye, “Did you eat a tart for breakfast?”

“No,” Liam says. 

“Liam,” Mike says.

“I ate two tarts for breakfast,” Liam says.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Mike says.

“Don’t miss me too much,” Liam says, darting forward and kissing Mike again so he can’t claim he won’t, because he’s totally going to.

If Liam had any remaining doubt that Roman had gone through with the bowing out of contention thing, which he didn’t, it’s completely gone by the time he sits down beside Roman on the plane. Roman seems like, surface level fine, but Liam’s spent way too many years gauging Mike Emotions to be fooled by that kind of shit, and under that surface layer he’s Broody McBrooderson, and clearly not interested in talking about it.

Liam doesn’t really get secondhand awkwardness much, tends to push his way right past it, but dinner is Awkward. Between Connie looking down at his food like it killed his parents, Harry glaring in their direction, Roman glancing over at Connie constantly until Liam starts elbowing him, and Victor sweeping in to take Roman away for probably nefarious purposes, Liam’s exhausted by the time it’s over. 

He treats himself to one of his bribery tarts when he’s back in his room, because he deserves it, between that and the fact that Roman’s given him a heads up that Vic’s figured out Mike’s identity. Liam’s not super worried about Victor spreading it around, but he’s going to have to tell Mike about it, and Mike’s definitely not going to like another person knowing, especially one has hasn’t personally vetted as ‘good people’. 

“Uuugh,” Liam says, then calls Mike.

Mike does not like that Victor knows.

Liam is so surprised.

*

Roman looks even worse the next morning at breakfast, like the whole broody thing plus absolute exhaustion. “I know you probably don’t want me to ask,” Liam says, and Roman gives him this look like ‘and yet you’re going to ask’. Damn straight he is. “You okay, dude?”

“Fine,” Roman says, more to his toast than to Liam.

“Something happen?” Liam asks, and Roman laughs humourlessly.

“Nothing,” he says.

“Your laugh says otherwise,” Liam says. “Just saying.”

“Nothing’s changed,” Roman says, which has a totally different meaning, and has Liam thinking something happened, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“Talk to Connie?” Liam asks.

“Nope,” Roman says.

Harry, passing them, glares at Roman, and Roman, who’d just gotten his head up, is suddenly very interested in his toast again. 

“Nothing happened, huh?” Liam asks.

“Fitzy,” Roman says.

“Drop it?” Liam asks.

“Yes,” Roman says. His ears are a little pink. Liam is _fascinated_.

“Dropping it,” Liam says, which is kind of true in that they spend breakfast talking about Roman’s dog and Liam’s Mike — who is not a boring mystery, how dare Victor — but also probably not exactly true because while they’re talking about that Liam texts Victor and Val.

_come to my room 513 in half an hour_ , Liam writes Victor, then, _i have treats made by the bf_

He sends Val the same one, for forty-five minutes instead, then lies in wait once he gets back to his room. Lying in wait mostly involves texting Ben and Jordy and avoiding the siren call of the treats in his bag, because he can’t use Mike’s tarts for bribery if he eats them all.

“These better be actual treats,” Victor says. “Like food, not a metaphor.”

“I don’t do metaphors,” Liam says, then, “I heard you have unmasked my secret identity.”

Victor looks confused.

“You figured out who my boyfriend is,” Liam says.

“Oh,” Victor says. “Um. Yeah.” Then, “That was a metaphor,” muttered low enough Liam can ignore it.

“Boring mystery, he says,” Liam says. “Fuck you, it was an awesome mystery. There was some star-crossed romance shit going on.”

“I’m not really comfortable—” Victor says, fidgeting.

“Not comfortable hearing about my relationship, just like, investigating my boyfriend?” Liam asks. Victor looks even more uncomfortable, and maybe, dare Liam say it, guilty. “I’m fucking with you,” Liam says. “But seriously, I know Roman already told you, but—”

“Don’t tell anyone,” Victor says.

“That includes the other Rookie Detectives,” Liam says. “Mike already hates that you and Roman know.”

“I already told Roman I wouldn’t,” Victor says.

“I’m asking you to tell me,” Liam says. “And letting you know Roman’s a way softer touch than I am. If this gets out you’ll wish it was Roman coming after you. Or Mike, honestly.”

Victor laughs nervously, which tapers off when Liam doesn’t join in. “You’re kind of scary when you’re being serious,” Victor says, less scared sounding and more impressed. Liam will take it as a compliment.

“Yeah, that’s why I don’t do it so much,” Liam says. “Ready for our epic strategy planning sesh?”

“You promised boyfriend treats,” Victor says. “Are there more cookies?”

“No,” Liam says, and when Victor slumps, “But there are tarts.”

“Did Mike really make these?” Victor asks, munching on one tart and holding another protectively. “He doesn’t look like the baking type.”

“He really did,” Liam says. “Save some for Val, dude.”

“He had like half of the cookies last time,” Victor says, then takes another giant bite. “What’s taking him, anyway?”

“He should be here in about five,” Liam says. “I told him to come a bit later because I had to threaten you first.”

“Good time management,” Victor says, or at least Liam thinks so. His mouth is full.

Val’s eyes light up on the tarts the second he’s in the door. “First talk, then tarts,” Liam says, and sees Victor wipes some cherry filling off his mouth.

Val looks longingly at the tarts as he sits on the foot of the bed. “Talk fast,” he says.

“So, update since last meeting,” Liam says. “I’m pretty sure we can confirm Roman dumped Connie.”

“No shit,” Victor says.

“Definite no shit,” Val chimes in.

“How’s Connie doing?” Liam asks, and doesn’t take offence when Victor and Val exchange glances before answering him. Considering he just threatened Victor with dire consequences if he spilled info, he’ll accept some wordless argument on how much to tell him.

“Feeling rejected,” Victor says finally, which is pretty impressive, in how it’s the most obviously factual and yet least helpful answer ever. That kid’s going places.

“Hurt?” Liam asks. “Sad? Upset? Ang—”

“Yes,” Val says, then frowns when Victor elbows him.

“Roman’s not doing great with it either,” Liam says.

“Roman seems like he’s doing just fine,” Victor says.

“Just because he doesn’t wear everything on his face—” Liam starts.

“Hey,” Victor snaps.

“It’s not an insult or anything,” Liam says. “Fuck knows I do. Just, people get upset differently. Roman’s definitely upset.”

“Okay,” Victor says, sounding sceptical.

“Harry’s pissed off,” Val says.

“What, that Evan’s upset about Roman?” Victor asks. “That’s the last thing Evan needs right now, Harry pissed at him. Why’s he got to be such a di—”

Val shakes his head. “Pissed off at Roman.”

“What?” Victor asks, then, “Why?” taking the words right out of Liam’s mouth.

Val shrugs. “Thinks dumping Evan is stupid,” he says. “And hurting Evan is not okay.”

“God, I’m starting to like the dude,” Victor says.

It’s weird, because Liam’s not like, a paragon of maturity or anything — hell, he can hear Mike snorting ‘no shit’ in his head right now — but sometimes he gets reminded these dudes are all younger than him with the exception of Roman, and probably all of them have a lot less relationship experience. “I mean, Roman didn’t really want to talk about it,” Liam says. “But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t working, so what else was he supposed to do?”

“First option’s ending shit just because it isn’t working?” Victor asks.

“I mean, yeah,” Liam asks. “After what, weeks? This isn’t exactly toughing out a rough patch after years together kind of thing.”

“Whatever,” Victor mutters. “Could have figured out something that wouldn’t have hurt Evan.”

“The chances of no one getting hurt was basically zero from the start,” Liam says. “You’re a smart dude, there’s no way you didn’t get that.”

Victor shrugs. “I didn’t want it to be Evan,” he says. 

Val frowns at him. “But Roman or Harry was okay?” he asks.

“Better than Evan,” Victor says. 

“I get it, dude,” Liam says, over Val’s sudden glare. “Loyalty and all that.”

“Loyalty to team is important,” Val mutters.

“Don’t pretend you haven’t taken sides,” Victor snaps. “Like you’re not jumping for joy that it’s Harry.”

“No,” Val snaps back. “Because I am not a—”

“Children!” Liam says. “Can we all agree this is not an optimal situation right now?” 

Victor side-eyes him. “Optimal, Fitzgerald?” he asks.

“I do crosswords!” Liam says. And that’s the kind of shit Mike says anyway. In another life he’d be really good at something super corporate like project management or something. Well. Only if he didn’t have to deal with humans, which seems unlikely. Otherwise it’d be a total disaster. Mike and human interaction don’t really mix. Last week he was in a bad mood for hours because a barista was trying to be _friendly_.

Fuck, Liam loves him.

“Optimal means best?” Val asks, looking at his phone.

“Basically,” Liam says.

“Not optimal,” Val confirms.

“Exactly,” Liam says. “So we need a plan.”

Both of them stare back at him. If they were this hard to wrangle, no wonder no one figured out anything about Mike until they started trespassing.

“Think about it while you eat a tart,” Liam offers generously.

Val munches on two tarts while they mull it over, lemon in one hand and cherry in the other, alternating bites. The dude’s got his priorities straight. “I didn’t eat breakfast,” he says defensively when Victor gives him a judgmental look, which is rich, because Victor had two before Val even got here.

“Remember they’re adults and let them sort this out themselves?” Victor asks after he’s done silently judging Val. Even he looks doubtful as he’s saying it.

“Boo, bad plan,” Liam says. “Val?”

Val looks considering. “Lock them all in a room?” he says. “Wait until they fix. Or fight.”

“Oh my god, have you been only watching sitcoms since you moved here?” Victor hisses.

“I like it,” Liam says.

“What’s your plan?” Victor asks. He sounds kind of desperate. “We haven’t heard your plan.”

“I like Val’s,” Liam says. “We’re going to go with Val’s.”

“We’re going to get sued or something,” Victor whispers.

“I don’t remember you caring about that when you were trespassing in my bushes, rookie,” Liam says.

“You don’t really seem like the kind of dude who sues someone,” Victor says. 

“And Connie does?” Liam asks.

“Nah,” Victor says. “Roman either. Harry, though—”

“Harry wouldn’t sue you,” Val says, frowning.

“No one’s suing anyone,” Liam says. “Keep on track, North Star Negotiators.”

“The track being something Val saw in How I Met Your Mother or something?” Victor asks.

“I don’t like that one,” Val says.

“That was not the point—” Victor says.

“On track!” Liam says, clapping his hands together. “Or I won’t share the other shit my boyfriend made.”

They both lean forward.

“What’d he make?” Victor asks, over Val’s hopeful, “More cookies?”

“First we need to figure out how we’re going to pull this off,” Liam says. “Then you get treats.”

“We’re not going to get sued, we’re going to get arrested,” Victor moans, flopping backwards on the bed.

“What are your feelings on truffles?” Liam asks.

Victor sits up. “Okay,” he says. “I’m doing it, but only for the truffles.”

“Deal,” Liam says.

“And first you show me the truffles actually exist,” Victor says suspiciously.

Liam rolls his eyes and goes to grab them from his bag. “He’s been experimenting,” he says. “So I think it’s raspberry, mint and peanut butter. Plus like, normal chocolate.”

Victor squints down at them. “First—”

“No,” Liam says. “You don’t get to test one. You know his shit is worth it.”

“This is like drug deal,” Val whispers, wide-eyed, and Victor breaks out of his critical squint to laugh.

“Fine,” he says. “What dumb shit are we doing now?”

“Fixing things isn’t dumb shit,” Liam says. “It’s honourable. Noble. Righteous.”

“I liked you better before you were doing crosswords,” Victor says.

“Suck a dick,” Liam says. “Well, North Star Negotiators, are we doing this? Are we repairing our team?”

“Yes!” Val says, through another tart. 

Victor sighs loudly. “I _guess_ ,” he says.


End file.
